I would love to make jewelry for a living. I am working on adding pieces to my Shopify in between work and classes, yet I end my days feeling like nothing was accomplished. I feel consistently that I’m not doing enough, not being productive enough. I feel I have to do so much to feel like I’ve earned rest, and I constantly feel I fall short.
When I think about my jewelry, I feel like I could be doing better. I feel like no one would ever buy what I make, like it’s too boring or simple. I have been plagued with the thought that selling my jewelry was equivalent to begging for money from people since 2015. And I know it’s not, and that selling goods for money is how commerce works, but it’s that lack of confidence that leads me to view my work as worthless. As if I’m asking people to give me money for nothing.
The devaluing of my labor and creativity is an ongoing struggle. I’m supposed to launch my shop on October 9th, and I want to stick to it, but I’m scared that getting 0 sales in the weeks/months that follow is going to reinforce how I feel about myself. I wish I could end this one on a better note, but I’m just not in the right headspace today to do so.
Nova Superstar, out